First there’s having to dress yourself in the hottest, tiniest apartment in the city…
This should be fine now that you spent $300 on a tiny portable air conditioner so you’re feeling confident….
But once you’ve showered and completely filled your apartment with steam from the shower, the only way you’re feeling that A/C is if you stand directly in front of it…..naked
Well there’s no point in procrastinating you’re just going to have to move very slowly. So you begin by blow drying your hair…heat, on your scalp…this makes you about 10 degrees hotter than you already were just one miserable moment ago…
You came from New Hampshire where summer’s were hot…but in a town where your neighbors house was .5 miles away you always had a good breeze in the shade…so what do you wear in this hellacious city known as Boston, you only own long heavy dresses and jeans. So you stare at your closet for 15 minutes…while sweating like a sinner in church.
Finally you throw together some half assed semi-professional outfit that is like the mullet of outfits, professional on top, going to a jog on the bottom… you look at yourself in the mirror with disgust in what you’ve become..
So now you’ve left your shitty apartment and are ready to catch the T so that you can ride it for 45 minutes then walk another 10 minutes to your office…knowing that you have a hot, sticky walk ahead of you, the train ride is always just a spectrum of negative emotions that escalate as the train gets closer to my stop
You hear your stop is next, you get your giant bag full of your crappy lunch which has already melted and step off the train. The best tactic to the walk is to move slowly and try to catch the hot trashy breeze that hits you when the dump truck, public bus or fire trucks pass.
You’ve finally made it to the office, hair which was once smooth shiny, styled to perfection, now a tangled, sweaty, frizzy ball. Your outfit which seemed so perfect for the day sweaty, sticky and goofy looking. You’re already emotionally drained from the mornings outfit matching catastrophe so you greet your co-workers with a not so subtle face
They all drove to work, because they all still live with their parents in the suburbs, in houses that have central air so they all look fabulous. They have the same reaction when they see my outfit choice, hair situation, sweat problem…..
And then all day I have to walk around like….
But on the inside I give so many fucks