Pinterest always has great tutorials on how to be a woman and put on makeup like a grown up for example, this tutorial on how to fix your eyes up:
SO SIMPLE! Yet somehow it never translates the same way on my face
I usually end up looking like this:
I recently starting watching reruns of Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton and it’s becoming an addiction. Here is one of my favorites:
First there’s having to dress yourself in the hottest, tiniest apartment in the city…
This should be fine now that you spent $300 on a tiny portable air conditioner so you’re feeling confident….
But once you’ve showered and completely filled your apartment with steam from the shower, the only way you’re feeling that A/C is if you stand directly in front of it…..naked
Well there’s no point in procrastinating you’re just going to have to move very slowly. So you begin by blow drying your hair…heat, on your scalp…this makes you about 10 degrees hotter than you already were just one miserable moment ago…
You came from New Hampshire where summer’s were hot…but in a town where your neighbors house was .5 miles away you always had a good breeze in the shade…so what do you wear in this hellacious city known as Boston, you only own long heavy dresses and jeans. So you stare at your closet for 15 minutes…while sweating like a sinner in church.
Finally you throw together some half assed semi-professional outfit that is like the mullet of outfits, professional on top, going to a jog on the bottom… you look at yourself in the mirror with disgust in what you’ve become..
So now you’ve left your shitty apartment and are ready to catch the T so that you can ride it for 45 minutes then walk another 10 minutes to your office…knowing that you have a hot, sticky walk ahead of you, the train ride is always just a spectrum of negative emotions that escalate as the train gets closer to my stop
You hear your stop is next, you get your giant bag full of your crappy lunch which has already melted and step off the train. The best tactic to the walk is to move slowly and try to catch the hot trashy breeze that hits you when the dump truck, public bus or fire trucks pass.
You’ve finally made it to the office, hair which was once smooth shiny, styled to perfection, now a tangled, sweaty, frizzy ball. Your outfit which seemed so perfect for the day sweaty, sticky and goofy looking. You’re already emotionally drained from the mornings outfit matching catastrophe so you greet your co-workers with a not so subtle face
They all drove to work, because they all still live with their parents in the suburbs, in houses that have central air so they all look fabulous. They have the same reaction when they see my outfit choice, hair situation, sweat problem…..
And then all day I have to walk around like….
But on the inside I give so many fucks
With only 1 year into my first ever big girl professional job I think it’s important to take the time to review a couple of first time reactions and feelings that I believe are all experienced by entry level n00bs.
Trying to follow the in-office terminology and lingo in a meeting with higher- ups:
The response you get when trying to suggest a solution to a problem that you know far superior than what everyone else who’s been there longer is suggesting:
Re-reading an email you just sent to multiple higher-ups and noticing typo’s:
Trying to act smooth and hold any kind of conversation during “social” networking events:
What I do when I send someone an email who is sitting in my direct line of sight:
When I get a vote of confidence from my director in a meeting with people who don’t think I know what I’m talking about:
When I realize that I am no longer a freshman to the working world I’m having but then I remember I have about 40 more years of this…..
Tuesday April 16,20132:42 a.m.
Thursday, October 04, 2012 Elyse N. Ryan
DENVER, CO.- After weeks of much anticipated across the nation for what was thought to be a super bowl like presidential debate, viewers are left this morning asking, ‘what the he!@ was that?’
Wednesday Sept. 26, 2012 Elyse N. Ryan 9:41 a.m.
LIBYA- The anti-Islam film that has been the cause of protests around the middle east had “nothing to do with” the attack in the Libya that left four Americans dead including U.S. Ambassador Chris Stevens according to the President of Libya.
Tuesday Sept. 25, 2012 Elyse N. Ryan
BRAZIL- A Brazilian judge has ordered the arrest of Google’s President of Operations for not removing videos on youtube.com that criticized a mayoral candidate.
Thursday, Sept. 25, 2012 11:44 p.m. Elyse N. Ryan
BOSTON, MA- Staffers for the Scott Brown campaign were caught on camera chanting Indian war cries and making ‘tomahawk chops’ at a rally for the Massachusetts Republican Senator this week.
In a video posted on Youtube.com, the Brown staffers Deputy Chief of Staff, Greg Casey, Constituent Service Counsel, Jack Richard and GOP operative, Brad Garrett are seen making blatent Indian symbols, in reference to Elizabeth Warren’s claims of Cherokee heritage.
The Massachusetts race for Senate between Scott Brown (R) and Elizabeth Warren (D) has been one of much bantor. The Brown Campaign released TV ads this week featuring Warren’s claims of Native American heritage while the Warren Campaign has been critical of Scott Browns “Big Corporation” support.
The Warren Campaign has yet to comment on the video.
Elyse N. Ryan Tuesday, September 18, 2012 8:49 a.m.
A very candidate Mitt Romney was taped at a private reception for donors, making claims in response to a question, that 47% of Americans are “dependent on the government” and see themselves as “victims” who feel “entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it.”
The release of this video that was taken unbeknownst to Romney has left the Romney camp scrambling to correct the error, calling a news conference last night after 10 p.m. During the press conference former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney made no apologies saying that his remarks were “not elegantly stated.”
Romney continued to support what he said, much like not apologizing for his inappropriate criticism of the handling of the Libyan Attacks that took the life of four Americans including U.S. Ambassador Chris Stevens. Some believe Romney’s refusal to back-paddle, or apologize is a tactic to seem stable after receiving much criticism for being a “Flip-flopper” on his policies throughout the campaign.
Romney did say he supports all those how have suffered from the ‘Obama economics’ Monday night during his press conference, but his timing is terrible with only weeks left until the election.
Elyse N. Ryan Aug 24, 2012 8:00 a.m.
It has often been argued that Generation Y does not fit into the working world. With demands for more responsibility, excitement and movement, it could be that Generation Y is ready to make changes to the work place environment that the world is not ready for.
If going from nap time, recess, field trips, college no Friday class policies, and make your schedule every 4 months is not how the real work world is, than it is no surprise that the Generation Y workers don’t transition smoothly into 40 hours a week of sitting in one spot doing the same repetitive tasks over and over again.
Many of these Gen Y’s are so used to always being on the go and moving at the speed of light with the demands of projects, learning, working and class that when they step into the workforce that only asks them to sit at their desk all day and do one thing at a time, it gets boring in the first 4 hours.
Could it be possible that Gen Y workers not only operate at a faster pace, but have a better way of operating?
Elyse N. Ryan June 1, 2012 9:51 a.m.
It feels like only last year that I was on the docks of Yarmouth Nova Scotia celebrating Canada with a hearty Canadian breakfast of TimBits and coffee.
In the company of the Mountees who are always a pleasure..
Today is Canada’s day to get a little crazy…
And hopefully some of us from America will be good neighbors and part take in the party…
Happy Canada Day!
By Elyse N. Ryan
My dad, the old man, the head of the table…or as I would like to call him “dorkus extrodinarous,” celebrated his birthday only a couple weeks ago and now will be celebrating father’s day in a tiny little town in northern New Hampshire that has the romantic stench of cow shit.
More stressed about his daughter being in the big city of Boston than I am, today I will call him continuously for a change to say “Old man, thanks for letting me turn your brown hair grey!”
The relationship that stemmed from a first meeting during the most unsettling time in my life (adolescence) has become a true father daughter relationship that has given me a foundation that was missing all the years prior.
From the original “Techno Moment” in the Big Cold House in Hoppy, to the assortment of Ginger Ale he bought for me when I had to go to the emergency room that one Christmas, he has always taken a painfully logical and humorous approach to raising me.
Even when I acted out as most dramatic teenage girls do, all it took was one reality check with my dad reacting like…
….for me to figure it out and make the right choice. The old man has patience that far surpasses anything humanly possible. He along (with my mom), has been the only person on the planet to devote the time and energy into guiding me, an amazing commitment not only because of the pain I can be on a regular basis but even more amazing because he had no obligation to do it, he did it on his own accord.
Here is a the evolution of our father-daughter relationship as explained with pictures:
The first time we were introduced to eachother:
It didn’t take too long for him to realize what he had walked into…
At the time I was going through my adolescent stage, every time he tried to talk to me I usually responded with a…
But he stayed cool and usually had a witty response like…
And then there was the weird clothing phase, I would wear the dumbest outfits and try to get out of the house in them..
Usually my dad didn’t have to say much to get his opinion across…all it took was a look..
But there were times when I would push the limit and he would always find the most creative way of telling me that it just wasn’t gonna happen…
I couldn’t be mad at him for long because he always explained himself logically in a way that you knew you were wrong and he was right.
He’d be like..
And I would be like…
It took years and years of the same interaction along with some fun ones too…
and this one,
and this one,
Happy Father’s Day Dad!! I love you!!
Love, The Mookster